A Moment in Time

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life that whatever your actions were, affected the rest of your life? Today is one of those days in the lives of Susie and myself. You see, it was 45 years ago today that Susie and I met, and I can honestly say it was love at first sight!

Back in the Summer of 1977, NABET was in the middle of a 5 and a half month strike against ABC. Rather than running the board on the 8th floor of the ABC Building for WABC and WPLJ, I was picketing 3 days a week for 3 hours at a time. Thankfully, I was a 27 year old single guy, so not going through the financial peril a lot of the older married folks were suffering through. It was a sad, kind of poor summer, but I did have lots more free time than I normally would., and that’s why I was able to accept an invitation to a Fourth of July backyard Bar-b-cue on Sunday July 3rd!

The party was given by my friend Bill Epperhart and his wife Maryanne. I met Bill when we both worked at the CW Post College Radio Station, WCWP, and now Bill worked at WNBC. Bill’s wife Maryanne was a Registered Nurse at the Glen Cove Community Hospital, as was the the young lady I met that day, Susan Lynn Johnson, RN! Turns out that Susie had called in sick that day to attend the party, and many years later we found out from Maryanne that getting us together was the main inspiration for the party!

I’m very happy to say that it worked! We were thrown together at the party when I helped Susie light some fireworks she’d brought back from a visit to her Great Aunt in North Carolina, and as I said before, it was really Love at First Sight! The following weekend we went out on our first real date, and at the Dynasty Chinese restaurant in Roslyn, my fortune cookie said, “You Will Marry Your Current Lover and Be Happy”. 45 Years later, the fortune cookie is still correct!!

Happy Anniversary baby! I L Y J T W Y A then, now, and forever!! XO XO XO XO XO XO

Time

When you are both working, and raising three kids, time is a very valuable commodity that you never seem to have enough of! But when you’re both retired, and your time is your own, it’s something that you have the option of using as you choose. Be it to read a book, binge watch a show on Netflix that you’ve wanted to see, or even to just sit on our front porch in the summer, and watch the drama and comedy of Pennlyn Place transpire, there’s time to do it all! Many retired folks say that they’re always so busy, they don’t know how they got things done when they were working, but we all know that is life. The job grows to fit the time allotted, and face it, there is more of that when you’re retired! That gift of time is part of every area of your retired life, and Susie and I love that we have it when we travel!

Ever since I retired in 2016, that diabolical stretch of Interstate 95 from the Delaware Memorial Bridge, to the city of Richmond, Virginia has been a part of our travels. On our our yearly trips down to the Sunshine State to enjoy a bit of summer in the winter and to now see our son Kenny and his husband Chris in St. Petersburg, it’s been there. The multiple times a year we head down to North Carolina to visit with our Son Bill, his wife Lori and our three Grandkids, 8 year old Layla, 6 year old Henry and 3 year old Annabelle, it’s been a part of our travels. That stretch of I-95 has been part of the beginning and end of every trip south out of Ocean City, and has become very familiar and also very hated!

The question always is not IF you’ll run into traffic, but rather WHERE and for HOW LONG? Will your travel schedule coordinate so that you get the EasyPass Express Lanes in Virginia going in your direction? Will I-95 or the Interstates that go around the big cities be your better choice? Where is the latest construction (because there has always been, and probably always will be, construction on I-95) that will affect your travel located? Will the way too many morons who drive badly cause a horrific accident that will shut the road you’re on down? All of these, and more, are valid questions that will affect your travel when driving this over-crowded corridor.

The absolute worst we’ve had, and the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back”, was a year ago, when we had Layla and Henry in the back seat of the CR-V, and we were driving down to Lori and Bill’s Lake House after having our two oldest Grandkids with us for a week in Ocean City. Their Lake house is just off I-95, shortly after you cross the border from Virginia into North Carolina, and should have taken us 6 to 7 hours at the worst. It took us closer to 10 hours, and not only did we crawl along in bumper to bumper traffic on I-95, but on several occasions the GPS routed us off I-95 to other roads where we also crawled in bumper to bumper traffic! There had to be a better way!

And luckily there was! Our son-in-law Mike’s Maryland living brother-in-law Gabe, suggested that we try US 301, which runs parallel to I-95 but to the east. We’d been routed off I-95 once onto 301 by the GPS several years ago, but until this fateful trip with Layla and Henry, had never really thought of it as a viable alternate. We’ve now done it several times and love it! When we went down to see the North Carolina Family back in May we took it and greatly appreciated the ease of the trip. When we went back to NC a couple of weeks ago, we were able to figure out how to get on 301 just after the Delaware Memorial Bridge heading south. Thanks to a conversation I had with our neighbor Meade just before we left on that trip, he pointed out that we could pick up US 301 off of Interstate 295 that runs around Richmond – they discovered that thanks to the GPS routing them off I-95 recently coming back from Florida. Doing a little old fashioned map work (remember maps), we discovered that we could get from I-85 (which we take to Lori and Bill’s in Wake Forest) to I-295 and totally avoid I-95!

Now, you may ask, “but is it as fast as going on I-95?” Well, if I-95 is running well, with no traffic, the answer is no. But realize that I-95, running through the Washington, DC corridor, is hardly ever running well with no traffic, and if you end up going the opposite way the Express Lanes in Virginia are running, it’s even worse. So the real world difference is often negligible, but either way, remember, we’ve got time! US 301 is a nice drive, with beautiful scenery,

You also get to experience some wonderful local places along the way, like Horne’s Restaurant in Port Royal, Virginia! We stopped on our way back up from North Carolina, had a late lunch (really the only meal we needed that day) consisting of a couple of great cheeseburgers, and two of the best milkshakes we’ve had since we were kids! Take a look and see if you don’t start salivating just looking at these pictures!

Oh, and if you’re interested in experimenting with US 301, here’s the directions we wrote up for us. It obviously starts and ends in Ocean City, but can also be used if you’re following I-95 or I-295 to the Delaware Memorial Bridge! Enjoy, if like us, time is on your side!

Directions to use US Rt. 301 rather than I-95 heading south of Washington, DC

1 – Atlantic City Expressway (ACE turns into Rt. 42)/ Rt. 42 to Exit 9B (Through Runnemede) and follow signs for the NJ Turnpike towards Delaware Memorial Bridge
2 -As you go over the bridge, stay to the right and exit at Rt. 13 South
3 – Take Rt. 13 to US 1 to US 301 South
4 – Route 50 will join 301 and continue on 301/50 to and over the Bay Bridge
5 – Continue on US 301 South (US 50 splits off)
6 – Around Bowling Green, Virginia, be careful to follow signs for US 301 South or
you will end up on 207 and head straight to I-95
7 – Continue on US 301 South to I-295 South
8 – Exit at 9B to Route 36 towards Petersburg.
9 – Follow signs for I-85

Finding An Old Friend

Ten years ago, when Billy and Lori got married, Susie and Krissi, in preparation for the wedding had a manicure and a pedicure. They didn’t know it then, but that was the beginning of a tradition of long standing in our lives that came to be called “Nail Night!”

Late afternoon, every other Wednesday after work, my two ladies would go to see Kim at Best Nails on Second Street in Mineola and have their nails done. This continued even after we’d sold the Mineola house and made Ocean City our permanent home. When it started, Krissi was working in a cardiologist’s office by the train station in Mineola and living home. It continued as she still worked and went to CW Post for her Master’s of Public Administration degree. It was still a thing when she stopped living at home, and moved to Astoria, and she commuted via the Long Island Rail Road after she got her MPA, and started working at Weill Cornell Medical Center in Manhattan.

It just so happened that separated from Best Nails by an alley, was the St. James Restaurant. While Mom and Krissi went and had their nails done, Dad held down a seat at the St. James’s Bar and waited for the girls. When they were done, we’d all have a drink at the bar, and then get a table in the restaurant and Dad would buy dinner. In fact, the St. James and Nail Night was the place we first met Michael shortly after he and Krissi started dating (she actually left him alone with me that first night), and for the rest of the time, every Nail Night, Mike and I joined the bar crowd at St. James waiting for our girls to show!

And quite a crowd it was! There were Doctors and other staff from Winthrop hospital just down the street, there were folks stopping for a shot or two on their way home from the train station, there was Ed who was a local Judge, and as Mineola is the seat of the Nassau County Government, there were lawyers, like Glenn the real estate lawyer, who actually handled the selling of our Mineola house for us! It was an interesting mix of folks who lived and worked in the neighborhood, with lots of regulars. It was a great location, and a good bar, but the real reason that these folks gathered at the bar of the St. James was the man behind the bar, Dennis Sweeney!

Dennis had been a commodity trader on Wall Street, who just had enough. His brother owned a bar and restaurant, and Dennis had done his fair share of time behind the bar, so he knew his way around. As he told us, it was a better life, with none of the pressure and the BS of his former life. I know we were very happy he made that decision, as were the rest of the St. James regulars! When Krissi worked at that local Doctor’s office next to the Mineola Train Station, she and her co-workers would often stop in, as did her Mom and Dad on days other than Nail Night, sometimes just for a drink with Dennis! Dennis was the father of two daughters, and we knew that he would watch out for Krissi, and in fact, when Mike started hanging around with us, Dennis gave Krissi a thumbs up on her new boyfriend!

Unfortunately, after years of having the same owner, new owners bought the St. James, and things started changing. Menu items that had been popular for years were re-worked, often times missing the mark in the opinion of regulars. The new owners wanted a new “vibe” and started to mess with personnel and the atmosphere. Gradually, the place felt less like Cheers and more like a sleazy sports bar, with too many TVs and too loud music! If their intention was to chase away the regulars, they were doing a good job!

Eventually, our Nail Nights ended, as we spent more and more of our time in OC and had less and less desire to be on Long Island. Eventually we heard that Dennis had less and less desire to be behind the bar at the St. James, and he moved on. We were sad, but totally understood! The last time we were in the St. James was 3 years ago on the weekend that Krissi and Mike got married. We were doing the rounds of Mineola, and in an effort to re-create those early Nail Nights with Mike, we went back to St. James for a drink. We found that without Dennis behind the bar, the bar that you had trouble finding a seat at back in the day, was now deserted! (Don’t get me started on why people buy a popular restaurant/bar and then change things and drive away the regulars!)

So turn the clock forward to the end of May, when we ran into a former neighbor who had been a fill-in bartender at the St. James. Turns out he knew that Dennis had moved on to Leo’s in Garden City, the next town south of Mineola and just blocks away from the St, James. With this new information, Susie and I resolved to stop in and see Dennis the next time we were on Long Island, and we did exactly that!

We got two seats at the end of the bar, and there was Dennis at the other end. As he walked towards us, he realized it was us, put a big smile on his face, and we had a wonderful reunion! We talked about our respective families and what was happening in everybody’s lives, and of course, we had two Grey Gooses Vodkas…shaken, cold, served up with a twist, with the marinated ice on the side! It was great to see him again, and reconnect with an old friend! Susie and I love the relationships we have in life with bartenders, waitresses, and waiters, and we were very happy to once again see this man, who we’d literary spent hours with over the years! As always, it’s the people that make a place special, at least that’s what we think!

Time to Say Goodbye? Or not yet??

Downstairs in the garage at 854 Pennlyn Place in Ocean City, there is a red Ford Mustang convertible, that has been a member of our family since March 31, 2000.  In fact, on March 31st of last year, on the occasion of her 21st birthday, I wrote a blog entitled A Member of the Family, that detailed our relationship, now in its 23rd summer of our family with this car.  Here’s a link to that blog in case you’re interested. https://rnewadventures.com/2021/03/31/a-member-of-the-family/

She started back in 2000 as my “MID-LIFE CRISIS” car, and has morphed into my “RETIREMENT” car.  When we took delivery of her, there were 3 teenagers in our family, and indeed the first accident the Mustang was in was with Krissi at the wheel.  In those days, she went to the train station daily, out to dinner and church, and even on trips, like our 2 weeks in the summer to Ocean City!  When she moved to Ocean City full time, and became a New Jersey resident, her life got easier.  Now she was our fun second car, and many of her days were spent in the garage or out for Sunday drives.  She is strictly a summer car at this point in her life, spending the winters tucked into the garage with gas stabilizer in her tank, and a trickle charger on her battery.  Now that she’s in her 22nd year, she is entitled to slow down a bit and to be pampered. In fact, in the most recent year, since her servicing in May of 2021, she traveled less than 1,000 miles!  I guess for a 22 year old car to have just 91,000 miles on the odometer shows how her life has slowed down in recent years.

Every spring, we wait for the weather to get better and for some “Top Down Days” so that we can enjoy this old girl!  A couple of weekends ago, we thought it was a perfect night to take the Mustang down the island to Captain Bob’s on 55th Street, where we were meeting some neighbors on Susie’s Birthday!  We enjoyed the drive down there in the early evening with the top down, and were happy we’d decided to use the Mustang, rather than the new Honda CR-V.  However, all that changed several hours later as we headed north on the island towards our home!  

We had a lot of fun that night with Bob and Karen, Chris and Denise, and our next door neighbor Doc. They all had presents for Susie and sang Happy Birthday to end the meal.  As we said goodbye to all and headed out, we decided that since it had gotten a little colder and damp, we’d leave the top up on the way home.  We were stopped at a red light about 4 or 5 blocks from the restaurant when our night suddenly changed!  The light turned green, I stepped on the gas, and suddenly we thought there was a motorcycle in the car with us!  Once I realized the noise was us, I knew that I’d blown out part of the exhaust system, and that could be expensive!  We limped the rest of the way home, not wanting to give her too much gas to keep the noise at a minimum, and tucked her back in the garage.  You know how life is…it’s always something!

As I’ve said, the Mustang is a fun second car, but not something that we need to get through life, and at this point, we’ve pretty much decided that the idea of dumping a lot of money into her to keep her on the road is not something we want to do.  Because of this, for the past couple of years, when she goes to the garage to get her yearly service, I tell the guys to call me if she needs anything beyond her normal servicing, because there will be an amount we are not interested to spend to keep her around.  So that was the basis on which I dropped her off at Best Tire on Asbury Avenue, and Susie and I waited for their findings.  The next afternoon, Kyle called and told me that she had a cracked Y Pipe coming out of the engine, and that there were 4 catalytic convertors on that pipe, and that he was sure I didn’t want to go ahead with replacing the part which cost $2600!  Sounded like it was the end of the road for the 2000 Mustang, but then he gave us a ray of hope.  He said that he’d give me a card for a guy in Northfield who did muffler repair, and he bet that he could weld the pipe for a couple of hundred dollars!

So we picked up the Mustang and drove to Bargain Brakes and Mufflers on Tilton Road, and I explained to the guy there what my issue was, and who had sent me.  He took my keys and told me they’d take a look the next day.  About 2 the next afternoon, my cell phone rang and caller ID said Budget Muffler.  I answered and the gentleman said, “We took the pipe down, welded it and it still leaked.  So we took it down again, and welded it in another place, and it works fine now.  We saved you a few dollars. How does $175 sound?”  I told him it sounded great and that we’d be by within the hour to pick her up!  When we picked it up, he told me that as long as we have the car, they can fix the exhaust system!

She drives great, no longer sounds like a motorcycle, and Susie says that the exhaust smell we sometimes had in the car is now gone!  So, as they say, all’s well that ends well!  So, I guess it’s not time to say goodbye to the old girl just yet!  Win – Win all around!

Turning Back the Hands of Time

This recent Memorial Day, Susie and I did something we haven’t done for years. In a very real sense, we Turned Back the Hands of Time! Let me give you a little background….

In August of 1986, Susie, Billy, and I moved to our new (to us) house at 40 Fairfield Avenue in Mineola, NY. About 3 months later, our family of 3 morphed into a family of 5 when Billy’s sister and brother Krissi and Kenny were born. For the next 31 years, we called 40 Fairfield our home and the Village of Mineola the place where we lived. When Billy was in first grade, he along with several of his school friends wanted to join Cub Scouts, so off we went to Cub Pack 246 that met at Mineola’s First Presbyterian Church. Billy’s friend John’s Dad, Andy McInnes, volunteered to be Cubmaster, and as I remembered my great experiences being a Boy Scout, I volunteered to help in anyway I could, and I became the Pack Treasurer. Starting that first year, in May of 1987, Billy and I joined Pack 246 and marched in the Mineola Memorial Day Parade. For the next 28 years, with and/or without our sons Billy and Kenny, I continued to march in that parade…first with Cub Pack 246, and eventually with Mineola’s Boy Scout Troop 45.

Whatever happened on that year’s Memorial Day Weekend, marching in Mineola’s Parade was a given. In the early years, we’d go to see fireworks at Bar Beach in the Town of North Hempstead on Friday night, and then many times head down to the Jersey Shore for Saturday and Sunday, and then head back to Long Island for the parade. Starting in 2005, when we bought the house in Ocean City, NJ our routine changed. Now instead of Fireworks on Friday, we’d head down to Ocean City, and spend the weekend at our house with our Ocean City friends! Some weekends we had kids and their friends with us, and some weekends we were alone, but every year, we’d set an alarm for 5 AM on Monday, throw clothes on, and head up the Garden State Parkway, to Long Island and our parade.

In 1998, our good friend Steve Grosskopf became the Scoutmaster of Troop 45 (I talked him into taking the job), and starting that first May, we gathered at their house and he fed the boys breakfast with the help of his wife Pat and my wife Sue. Eventually the breakfast morphed into an after-parade gathering for the Scouts and the families of the Troop at their house, and we were always there! We’d arrive home about 9 AM, I’d change into my Scout uniform, Susie would get herself ready, and we’d head over to Pat and Steve’s house for the parade. After we all headed off to the start of the parade, Susie and Pat would settle on the house’s front porch, and watch the parade pass by, yelling their support for the Boy Scout contingent!

It was a tradition of long standing, that continued through 2015! Then something changed… I retired from WABC in January of 2016, and now since I was no longer working, there was no reason not to extend our celebration of Memorial Day at the shore. It was very strange for us, that something that had been a part of our family’s life since 1987 was no longer there. It only got stranger when we sold the Mineola house in 2017, and now we really had no connection with the village! We might not have been there for the parade, but it was still a part of me, and every Memorial Day, my Facebook posts were filled with pictures of the Scouts of Troop 45 carrying flags and marching in Mineola’s parade!

So since that first May in 2016, our Memorial Day Weekends have been centered in Ocean City, but we have fondly remembered our time in Mineola, our friends in Troop 45, and years and years of parade participation. For six years that was our MO, but not this year. This year, we grabbed that clock and turned back the hands of time, proving once again that you can go home!

What is different? Well, our friend Steve Grosskopf announced that he was in his last year of being the Scoutmaster of Troop 45. 24 years of work and dedication, and of making Troop 45 one of, if not the best Boy Scout Troop on Long Island, had not been easy, but Steve had done it, and now it was time for him to pass the torch to the next generation. A couple of weeks ago, I got a crazy idea, and one day I shared it with Susie. “You know, we were there for Steve’s first parade, what do you think about being there for his last?” Susie liked the idea, and for the next week or so we batted around the idea. We really wanted to be there for our dear friends Pat and Steve, but wondered if we’d feel out of place and would we know anybody? After all, the last time we’d been there for the parade was 7 years ago in 2015! On Sunday afternoon, I sent him this text message, “Just checking in with you…How are you doing? Are you all set for the parade?” His answer to that text took away any doubt we might have had. “All good thanks! I know this will be my last one, so it is bittersweet. Wish you guys were here having cocktails on the porch.” Game On!

On Sunday we picked out the clothes we were going to wear, made sure our overnight “to go” bag was fully packed, and filled the car with gas. A shower before and an early bed time, and we were ready to go! The alarm woke us at 5:15 Memorial Day morning, and by 6:25 we were backing out of the garage and on our way to the Garden State Parkway! The trip back to Mineola is just under a hundred and 20 miles, and since we were on the road early, traffic was not an issue. The parade was scheduled to start at 11 AM, and we were in great shape time wise. At about 9:15, we rolled down Westbury Avenue, and parked the car around the corner from their house!

Activity was already in full parade mode as we walked up to the house, with Scouts and Adult Leaders gathering flags, and preparing for the after-parade party. As we came around the corner, and walked up to the front of their house, Steve came off the front porch, looked at us, and said, “Oh My God…what are you two doing here?!” We exchanged hugs and told him, “We were here for your first one, no way we were missing your last one!” Mission Accomplished! Pat was equally surprised when she came downstairs, but thrilled that we were going to be there for the day! She insisted that we spend the night, and we gladly agreed.

As the 11 AM hour got near, Steve and the Troop moved over to the parade starting point around the corner, and Susie, Pat, and I settled in on their front porch. Something new for me this year…for the first time since we first marched in 1987, I was going to see the parade, and what better place to see it, than Patrice and Steve Grosskopf’s front porch, a location on which the 4 of us had spent many, many enjoyable hours over the past 20 years they’ve owned the house! Promptly at 11 AM, the parade set off from Mineola’s Wilson Park, rounded the corner of Union Street and Westbury Avenue, and sailed by our front row seats! Lots of memories and lots of folks we recognized from our 31 years in Mineola, and we enjoyed all the groups from the Boy Scouts to the Mineola High School Mustang Marching Band (which all 3 of our kids were members of), and from the Mineola Fire Dept to the Portuguese Dancers and their castanets, and everybody else!

The parade route is 1.8 miles through the village, ending at Mineola’s Memorial Park for a brief service of remembrance and placing of wreaths. Steve was the MC for the event (I wrote his speech), and from all accounts it was a brief but meaningful reminder what the day was all about. Just after 12 noon, the Troop started to arrive back at the Grosskopf’s house for what has become a Troop 45 Tradition over the years, the Troop’s Memorial Day Parade after-party! The men of the Troop immediately went to work grilling hamburgers, hot dogs and bratwurst, while the boys changed out of uniforms and into proper attire for the pool and games. Troop Families showed up, and a great time was had by all!

Susie and I looked at each other several times during the afternoon, and commented about how the 7 intervening years since we’d last been in Mineola for a Memorial Day seemed to melt away, and how easy it was to fall back into old routines. A lot of the people we knew over the years are not still involved, but the folks of Troop 45 are always like family..old or new. We were welcomed back and made to feel at home, and were so glad we were there for Pat and Steve, and Steve’s last Memorial Day as Scoutmaster. All in all, it was a great plan, and worked out perfectly! As TR used to say, “BULLY!!!!”

Susie’s Birthday – May 28th, 2022

Another Surprise…this cake was presented to Susie by our friends Sue and Bob at Charlie’s last Tuesday!

I have been blessed to spend 44 birthdays with Susan Lynn Johnson D’Elia since the day I met her at a barbecue on July 3rd, 1977, and 42 of those birthdays since she traded a simple last name like Johnson, for an often mispronounced or misspelled one, D’Elia. We have been at each other’s side raising 3 kids, buying houses and cars, sending the 3 kids off to college, watching them get married, through work and play, adding 3 great grandkids to the family, and through us both retiring. Now I am the lucky one who gets to spend 24 hours of every day with my best friend, the love of my life, and the lady who puts me ahead of her, in everything she does. I’m sorry, but I can’t say that I was “lucky” to have her come in my life, I have always used the term “blessed” believing that some higher power ordained us to spend our life together! To me, we are a “Match Made in Heaven” and the perfect example to prove that “Love at First Sight” does indeed happen!

Last week, four of our six kids surprised her for her special birthday. On Wednesday night, after 10 o’clock, our son Kenny and his husband Chris walked into the house, having just flown up from St Pete, Florida and being picked up at the airport by our friend Sue Waniak. That was surprise number one. On Thursday night, the four of us went to Angelo’s in Atlantic City, as is our normal course of action. That was the place for surprise two, as Susie walked into the bar and saw Kenny’s twin sister Krissi sitting at the bar along with her husband Mike, who Susie thought was going to be on a business trip to Oregon! Unfortunately, our oldest son Bill and his wife Lori couldn’t join the group, as Bill, in the last months of his MBA program at the University of North Carolina was in Iceland as a part of a special class.

Let me let Susie tell you about Friday….The following is from Susie’s Facebook post….

“So…day #3 of Birthday surprises from my family! I was told to dress ”cute casual” and be ready at 11 AM today! We all made our own sandwiches and the cooler was packed!
At 11AM we ventured outside to a tie-dyed van! “DaySippers!” We were off for a 6 hour adventure! First a Winery for tastings and purchases! Next to a Brewery for Beer Flights and our sandwiches. Throw in a few games of Shuffleboard and a lot of laughs! Our last stop was a Distillery for some delicious cocktails! Tonight’s dinner will be Pizza and Ice Cream for dessert….my 2 favorite foods!

It has been a fabulous surprise Birthday celebration, well planned by my loving family!
I’m a Lucky Girl!😊❤️”

There were special cookies, bottles of Vodka with her picture on it, and lots of love and fun, as is only right for someone who loves her kids and their spouses as much as my Susie does!

So Susie Q, on this May 28, 2022 I’m here to tell you once again, that my life started the day I met you, so as far as I’m concerned this is your 44th Birthday! Have a great day as you remember our life together and all the fun, joy and love we’ve shared and that our 3 kids and 3 grandkids have brought us. My life is the best, mainly because you’re in it!!

ILYJTWYA now and forever baby!

PS – Frank D’Elia is totally responsible for the contents of this blog, as it was prepared, and published without the knowledge (or the proofing) of his partner in crime, and the love of his life!!

Modern Life Complications

If you look up Planned Obsolescence in Wikipedia, here’s what you get:

“In economics and industrial design, planned obsolescence is a policy of planning or designing a product with an artificially limited useful life or a purposely frail design, so that it becomes obsolete after a certain pre-determined period of time upon which it decrementally functions or suddenly ceases to function, or might be perceived as unfashionable. The rationale behind this strategy is to generate long-term sales volume by reducing the time between repeat purchases. It is the deliberate shortening of a lifespan of a product to force people to purchase functional replacements.”

Originally invented by the bicycle industry, this idea was quickly embraced by the auto business, as evidenced by the yearly model changes that were a huge part of the business, and why we as young car nuts, had to learn about the new and improved models in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. But it was not just a staple of the auto industry. I clearly remember in the heyday of the Video Recorder when a new and “better” model would reach the market practically daily. Buy the newest model last week, next month it’s superseded by a new and improved model. Obviously Apple and everybody else making cell phones these days have embraced the idea too. Do we use or even understand every new development? Probably not, but it’s NEW and that’s enough!

Think back through the years of your life, and you will realize that you have been victimized by planned obsolescence many, many times. Take computer programing. How many programs have you used over the years, that worked perfectly fine, and for no apparent reason, suddenly were changed. They did what you wanted, you knew exactly how to do what you needed, and yet you had to learn it all over again, so that they could sell you a new one. But, why buy the new one, you may ask. Well, many times, it was because they stopped supporting the old one, or you couldn’t use it with a modern printer, or some other issue that was outside your control to remedy without buying the new version! I’m old enough that I remember when several programs I used in the early days of my computer use went from DOS to Windows. Loved the old one, it did exactly what I needed, but would no longer work, so I needed to buy the new one!

I also remember at work when suddenly the IT guy would come around and load a new version of Windows or Word, or Internet Explorer on my computer. Suddenly things changed, and rather than just continue to use the program as I had, I needed to re-learn the steps involved to do what I did. The reality was that in some cases, I never did learn how to do what I used to be able to do, but hey, that’s the price you pay for one IT geek talking to another IT geek and selling them on the new and improved version, with many improvements that nobody ever asked for! Hello Planned Obsolescence!!

This whole topic was brought to mind a couple of weeks ago, when a bank we use changed the way things worked with their Visa credit card. For as long as we’ve had a credit card with TD Bank, you went to a different site from their regular on-line banking site to look at your account, check out your statements, and even pay the monthly bill. But, in the middle of March, I went one day to see if a purchase had been charged correctly, only to see a notice that said the credit card website had been closed. The notice said that if I went to the TD on-line banking site, I could now do everything regarding our Visa card that I had done at this dedicated site. Okay, sounds like a good idea. All our TD Banking in one place, so off I went to the regular site that I use all the time to pay bills and transfer money between accounts.

Should have been easy, as I have this website bookmarked on my computer, and Susie and I also have the App on our iPhones and iPads. Only problem was that when I went to the website, or looked at our accounts on the app, it didn’t show our credit card! In fact, when I clicked on a place that said, “Manage Your TD Credit Card, “ the response I got was, “Well, it appears you don’t have a credit card with us!” WTF??

After trying it for 2 days, I decided that my best recourse was to head over to the local TD branch and see if they could help me. Quick answer…they could not! Why when you have a problem with something, does everybody always assume you are a jackass?? Yes, the computer is plugged into the wall. No, I didn’t try pushing the start button without having my foot on the brake, and yes, this is MY account I’m trying to access!! I showed my NJ Driver’s License no less that 3 times, I assured the person that I sign on this site almost daily, and even showed him my TD Visa card, that I’d just used that morning, when he too had the website tell him, “Well, it appears you don’t have a credit card with us!!” To say he was less than useless would be nice.

The one thing he did do was call somebody on the phone, and after I once again showed him my driver’s license, that person said, “Well it appears he doesn’t have a credit card with us!” Bottom line, nobody knew why they had changed this website or why our credit card didn’t show up when we signed in. Their excuse…”Its a new program,“ and their solution, “it may show up in a couple of days.” I’m sure this was a bold new idea, developed in order to fix a problem that didn’t exist, and for no other reason than to have a new way to do something, so somebody could prove that their job was needed, when the real thought should have been, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

My Granddad used to say to me all the time, “It’s a great life, if you don’t weaken!” Believe me, I weakened that day at the bank! I apologized to the man I was dealing with, but walked out shaking my head and muttering under my breath! Turns out, it was a work in progress, and the credit card did show up a couple of days later, but wouldn’t it have been nice to have the system up and functioning before they closed the original website? Ah the funny hands that modern life sometimes deals us!

When Technology Kicks You In The Ass

We live in a marvelous world. A world that those of us of a certain age remember from our childhood being called the “World of Tomorrow!” We walk around with a computer in our pocket called an iPhone, that’s got more power than the computers that carried astronauts to the moon. Our cars literally think, and can tell us when they need service, control our speed relative to the car ahead of us, warn us when we start to wander into another lane or even brake for us. We can watch hundreds of channels via cable TV, and with Amazon Prime , Netflix, and the like, watch any movie ever made! Alexa can turn on lights, remind us of appointments, and actually run our house. Let’s face it, most of us will never use all the power that our cell phone possesses, or truly understand everything our 2022 car can do, and not even scratch the surface of the entertainment options 2022 brings us, or truly trust our friend Alexa! As great as technology is, it has also made us so dependent on it that when it’s not there, we are at a loss. Ever forgotten your cell phone at home???

Well, as this week started, we were going through our own version of a vast wasteland down here at the beach in Ocean City. Let me tell you our tale. Last week’s weather brought a lot of wind and rain, and over the weekend, we noticed that the lights would flicker from time to time. We had this back in our old house on Long Island, and just figured it was the storm and the wind blowing our above-ground power lines around. However, all day Monday, when there was little wind and the sky was sunny and bright, we noticed that the lights were flickering. Susie first noticed it when she tried to tighten a bulb in our front bathroom, only to discover that it was burned out. She wondered if the flicker was caused by that bulb, but as the day went on, we noticed the flickering in the other bathroom, our bedroom dresser lamp, and a lamp in the living room. Okay, this was something different. I went to bed Monday night trying to figure if it was something under our control doing this (perhaps the wine refrigerator or something else), or if it was an issue outside of our control.

Tuesday morning, bright and early, I called Atlantic City Electric to report the issue. Forget about speaking to a human being, but I figured I was on track when one of the categories on the problem list was “lights flickering”. Within a couple of hours, a service man from AC Electric was here, but his news was not good! Our “Meter Socket Connector” was severely corroded, and this was our responsibility, not the electric company’s! (Of course!) A little research, and then a call to DiMarco Electric had Joe DiMarco over here Wednesday morning looking at our problem. He noted corrosion not only on the meter box, but also on the line from the street and the line from our box to the house. Within about 15 minutes he had a quote for us, which we accepted, and a little after 1:00 he rolled in with his bucket truck and crew. By the time they left around 4, we had new service lines from the street to the meter box, a new meter box, and lines from the box right into our breaker panel in our bedroom. Even better, we no longer had flickering lights! Issue one resolved!

On to our next challenge or, “What the Hell is our House Trying to Tell Us Now” challenge!! Monday morning, as we were sitting here starting our day, suddenly our internet drops out. This had been happening recently and we expected that like in the past, it would pop back on shortly. Only problem was it didn’t! Then we discovered it wasn’t the internet, but our cable tv and our DVR too! Okay, now this was an issue! A look at the Comcast app told us that the problem we had needed an on-site service call, and the first appointment we could get was on Thursday morning! Since Susie had a 9:20 appointment at Shore Memorial for a Covid test prior to her hip replacement surgery next week, we took the noon to 2:00 window. So here we were Monday, with no internet and no access to cable TV or things we’d recorded on our DVR. Luckily we still have a blue ray player in our system and a good stock of disks, so for the rest of Monday, we watched an old Abbott and Costello movie, one of the 3 Gidget movies (we’d watched the other two already), and a Pierce Brosnan movie, After the Sunset. As far as internet access, we turned to our iPhones, burning through cellular data as we kept up with the world! Day one down, 2+ more to go!

Tuesday morning I had an idea. As Comcast customers, we were entitled to use Xfinity hot spots around town. Could there be some near us? Turns out that there were, and although it was more of a pain to hook up our iPads than just using our own wifi, it worked! Then I had another idea…could I stream video on these hot spots. I did a speed test, and although they were nowhere as fast as our home wifi, it looked like it might work! We’d perfected the last couple of extended stays in Florida using my Apple MacBook Air to connect to our Xfinity account, and watch things through the computer that we had on our DVR. I also had an Apple MacBook Air to HDMI cable adapter that we’d used on these trips, along with a 20 foot HDMI cable. A quick turning around of our living room flat screen to find an open HDMI socket to plug in the cable and a connection to my laptop, and we were ready to go. I got the laptop connected to one of the hot spots, went to the Xfinity website and to the section that displays our DVR’s contents. Fingers crossed, I hit play on one of the shows we’d recored and viola…it worked!! Again, not as easy as just picking up the remote, but we were able to watch shows we wanted to see, not old movies!

Our appointment on Thursday was from 12 to 2 PM, and as typically happens, it was 1:00 before the gentleman showed up. I figured corrosion on the outside cables (like our electric problem), but it turned out to be the main connector in the wall that had gone south! The installer changed out the offending connector, and in the process, installed an upgraded modem we were entitled to. I am happy to report that we are now back in the 21st century with super speedy internet speeds, WIFI, and Cable TV! Ain’t life grand!

So there you have it. I have to tell you that earlier in the week, I really wondered what the technology Gods had against me, as the lights flickered and the cable went south. Of course, my first thought was were they connected, and if so, what had I done to screw up both. My second thought was that Susie’s surgery was just a few days away on March 1st, and we needed a whole house for her. In the end, turns out that sometimes things just happen, and with some patience (and money) you can fix almost anything! Of course, my fear almost came true when they were fixing our electricity, and during the process turned all our power off, and Susie happened to be reclined in the electric recliner! OOPS! Don’t worry, with my help she got out, but it wouldn’t have been so easy with a new hip!

Onward and upward!

The Shoe Will Be On The Other Foot

If you have followed along on our adventure, you probably already know what I am about to tell you, but for those who may have forgotten or not read those blogs, let me recap.

For a number of years, I had very bad knees. Arthritis, combined with weight, and maybe even some damage from when I jogged when Susie and I were first married (yes I did jog daily when we lived in Port Washington), combined with other factors to make my knees not happy. I went to an Orthopaedic Doctor on Long Island, but it was not till we officially moved to Ocean City in 2017 that I started getting serious about my knees. We found Dr. Zabinski at Shore Orthopaedic, just across the bridge in Somers Point. In November of 2018, we started the process with X-rays, and we set up an appointment for knee injections. That’s when Susie and I started on our low carb regime to lose weight for the surgery, and I started getting alternating Chicken Fat and Steroid shots in both knees (and if you’ve never experienced that, boy is it fun!) Then on July 11, 2019, I had my left knee replaced at Shore Memorial Hospital in Somers Point. The pandemic screwed up my schedule, and it was not until September 14 of last year, that I had my right knee replaced, also by Dr. Zabinski at Shore.

I impressed many (even myself) in the way I recovered from these two joint replacement surgeries, healing and getting back to normal in record time. Now, some 5 months after the second surgery, I am feeling incredibly better, having absolutely no trouble standing, walking, sleeping or doing any of the activities my knees were preventing me from enjoying. I am pain free, and I joke, bionic and doing great. Of course, one of the major factors in these joint replacements, was my partner in this life, and the woman who has been taking care of me for over 42 years, my wife Susan Lynn Johnson D’Elia, Retired Registered Nurse, Mom, and all around great lady! For the first 5 days post-op, ice on for 20 minutes, off for 40, elevating the knee for 22 hours a day, sleeping on the couch while I slept in the recliner, or feeding me everything I wanted in the days post surgery, she was there at every turn! Well, now the shoe is on the other foot, and it’s my turn to play nurse!

In less than two weeks, on Tuesday, March 1st, Susie is scheduled to have her hip replaced by Dr. Zabinski. This has been an ongoing thing she has suffered through for a number of years, and had several cortisone injections to the hip (the needle wasn’t pretty…i was there…it was about 8 inches long!) But she decided that I should get my second knee replaced before her hip. That way she figured that I would totally be able to take care of her when she was recuperating. From what the Doctor, our Physical Therapist Grady, and every other source you can look at on the internet says, the hip is easier to rehab from than the knee. Dr. Zabinski is also going through the front, rather than the rear, and that too makes it easier as the muscle isn’t cut. Like mine, she will be in the hospital in the morning and home that afternoon/evening. We don’t know yet if I will have to stay away like she did when I had my second knee done, or if I will be allowed back in to be with her pre and post surgery. Time will tell!

She’s passed all the pre-surgery tests so far with flying colors, with her last one being a Covid test that will happen next week, five days before surgery. As we are fully inoculated and boosted, and we’ve been very careful for some time, we don’t expect any issues with that either. As he did with my knees, Dr. Zabinski has her on a regime of vitamins pre and post surgery, and the only variable is ME, post surgery! I will do my best to help her through the first difficult week, but I am no excuse for her ability and her temperament. I will also be a pain in the ass, I am sure, because in some ways Susie is a lousy patient, never wanting anyone else to do things for her! That won’t change in the next couple of weeks, but I will do my best to do what she needs, when she needs it, without her resistance! The ice on and off will be a part of that first week, as will sleeping on the recliner and couch, but we will switch places. I know I won’t be as good at anything as she was, but I will do my best! She already has a list of meals that she wants post surgery, so that at least I know I can pull off with a certain level of competence that will be acceptable!

So there you have it! The bionic transition of Sue and Frank D’Elia continues! Jaime Sommers and Steve Austin got nothing on us! See you on our post surgery walks Ocean City!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

As you must know, unless you have been living under a rock most of your life, February 14th is Valentine’s Day!  While you’ve probably heard a story or two of St. Valentine, several sources I checked say that the history of the day and that of it’s patron Saint is shrouded in mystery.  The Catholic Church recognizes three Saints named Valentine, all that seem to have some connection to the holiday.  Other sources suggest that Valentine’s Day had it’s root in pagan history, and that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine’s day in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia, which was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman God of agriculture,

Whatever the source of the holiday, it means big business to many!  According to Wikipedia:

“In the United States, about 190 million Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, not including the hundreds of millions of cards school children exchange. Valentine’s Day is a major source of economic activity, with total expenditures topping $18.2 billion in 2017, or over $136 per person.”

Susie and I have spent 44 Valentine’s Days together since our first one in 1978, and over all those years, we have learned some things.  Here’s my advice to folks looking to celebrate the day….

CARDS – As a couple that has no trouble telling the other one that we love them, starting and ending every day with those sentiments, it can be hard to buy cards.  Every year, when I head to the card store, I have to weed through card after card that has sentiments like, “Although I may not say it, you know I love you,” or “Our love is so strong that I don’t have to say the words to you, but you know how I feel,” or some other words that attempt to normalize not telling your wife you love her.  My problem with Valentine’s Day is that it is loaded with folks that don’t use the words “I Love You” on any of the other 364 days of the year.  Makes it hard to find the right card!

FLOWERS – Flowers are always nice, but at what cost?  Back in the olden days, I might send Susie a bouquet at the school she worked at, or I might stop at the florist on the way home, and bring her flowers.  For a number of years, I used to send her flowers via ProFlowers and they were always lovely and reasonably priced, but all that changed.  In 2014, FTD bought ProFlowers, probably in answer to the job the e-commerce flower delivery service was doing to their business.  Well, the prices went from reasonable to outlandish very quickly.  For this Valentine’s Day, a dozen red roses (and not long stem) will set you back close to $80 with delivery fees.  Prior to 2014, I used to be able to send Susie 2-3 dozen long stem roses for that price!  The best value today…stop at the grocery store on the way home!

DINNER OUT – For many couples, a nice evening out at their favorite spot or perhaps a fancy new spot will be in their plans.  Been there, done that, and sorry, but it always seems to be a sh*t show!  Even places you love are screwed up that night because of all the non regulars that show up.  Let me share a story from our past life.  One Valentine’s Day a long time ago, we had a reservation for dinner at our favorite Mineola Restaurant, Piccolo’s, where we were almost like family.  As most places do on that day, Piccolo’s had sittings running about an hour and a half each, and every slot was filled.  We arrived for the second sitting to find a frantic owner’s wife, Debbie.  She was very apologetic because a couple had arrived before the first sitting and now, into the second, was still there, showing no sign of leaving and throwing their night all off kilter!  She bought us drinks at the bar, and because we were such regulars there ,understood her dilemma, but it happens a lot.  We’ve been out a number of times over our past 44 years of Valentine’s Days, and I really don’t think we have ever enjoyed the evening or the meal due to BS going on in the restaurant!  A nice comfortable meal at home is much preferred in the D’Elia Household!

So there you have it…my take on this holiday.  It may truly be a response to one of the martyred St. Valentines in the ancient church, or it may have been an easy solution to the church Christianizing a Pagan Holiday, but whatever the source, it is one of Hallmark’s favorite days on the calendar.  We don’t like going out because like the other Saint Day (St. Patrick’s Day), it’s really a time for amateurs!  Our day will revolve around a nice dinner at home and whatever else we come up with (sorry Susie..no hints here).  My best memories of Valentine’s Day came from the quiet times it was just the two of us (or the 5 of us) spending the day with those we loved the most in the world!  Whatever you do, Susie and I hope you have a Happy Valentine’s Day!